Every summer, my UBC friends get together for lunch and catch up on summer plans and life in general. This year, life got busy for all of us and our annual summer lunch, and our lunch became a dinner. It was great, just like we had seen each other last week or yesterday, we fell into conversation.
We are all teachers, in some capacity or another, whether it be a teacher to our children, or in a classroom. Some have been doing the same job for many years, and others jobs change year to year. The funny thing is, even though we are all teachers and that is what brought us together at UBC, 10 years ago, it is not what keeps us together now. We were, at that table, a group of old friends who were catching up on lost time. We laughed, shared memories and talked about hopes for the future, and the only time we talked about teaching was in passing.
These people became my colleagues 10 years ago when we were put into a group called the "Langley Cohort" but over that year of shared experiences, we became friends and we've come to care for each other. They are my friends, for better and for worse, and are forever a part of my life. They've been to and in my wedding, god parent to my daughter and their children are friends with my children. Who would have thought that 10 years ago when I walked into that English classroom, that my life would be so richly changed.
To my fellow UBC Langley Cohort friends, I thank you for always being there and to Karleigh, for making me drive in Vancouver to school and pushing me gently out of my comfort zone. I love you guys!
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Me as a Mom
I always knew that I wanted a family. I played house when I was a little girl, stuffed pillows up my shirt to pretend that I was having a baby. The one thing I never pretended or thought about was how my kids would see me as their Mommy.
I was born with Cerebral Palsy that affect my left arm and leg. When I was little, I wore a metal brace on my leg to help me from walking on my toes and when I was 5 years old, I had surgery to lengthen my heel cord so that I would walk properly. So, now, unless I'm tired and my leg drags, its almost undetectable. My arm, however could not be corrected and so I have limited mobility and strength in my hand. It doesn't straighten all the way and my hand is bent inward. I don't call it a "disability" because I've never known any different and it's never stopped me from doing anything that anyone else does. It was never an issue when I was growing up and it wasn't an issue for Blair. In fact, when we were dating and he reached for my left hand, I knew I'd found a keeper (no one had ever held my left hand before) and its one of the reasons that I love him and feel lucky to have him in my life.
It isn't really an issue now, either. The only reason I think about it is when I'm with my kids. I don't clap my hands like other Mommies and I don't want Nicholas and Claire to clap like I do, I want them to clap "properly". It might sound stupid or superficial to some people, but it's what I think about. Blair says that they will and do clap their hands "properly" and that they love me because I'm their Mommy. I can't hold their hands with my left hand when we go walking and I have some trouble with tying laces and strings. I think Nicholas is starting to recognize that it is different because he once told me that my "hand doesn't work very good" and then he pretended that his hand was like mine. But we talked about it a bit (as much as you can with a 3 year old) and I'm sure that we'll discuss it again later.
I hope that I raise my children the way that I was raised; that the only limitations a person has are the ones they place on themselves.
Just something that I was thinking about today......
I was born with Cerebral Palsy that affect my left arm and leg. When I was little, I wore a metal brace on my leg to help me from walking on my toes and when I was 5 years old, I had surgery to lengthen my heel cord so that I would walk properly. So, now, unless I'm tired and my leg drags, its almost undetectable. My arm, however could not be corrected and so I have limited mobility and strength in my hand. It doesn't straighten all the way and my hand is bent inward. I don't call it a "disability" because I've never known any different and it's never stopped me from doing anything that anyone else does. It was never an issue when I was growing up and it wasn't an issue for Blair. In fact, when we were dating and he reached for my left hand, I knew I'd found a keeper (no one had ever held my left hand before) and its one of the reasons that I love him and feel lucky to have him in my life.
It isn't really an issue now, either. The only reason I think about it is when I'm with my kids. I don't clap my hands like other Mommies and I don't want Nicholas and Claire to clap like I do, I want them to clap "properly". It might sound stupid or superficial to some people, but it's what I think about. Blair says that they will and do clap their hands "properly" and that they love me because I'm their Mommy. I can't hold their hands with my left hand when we go walking and I have some trouble with tying laces and strings. I think Nicholas is starting to recognize that it is different because he once told me that my "hand doesn't work very good" and then he pretended that his hand was like mine. But we talked about it a bit (as much as you can with a 3 year old) and I'm sure that we'll discuss it again later.
I hope that I raise my children the way that I was raised; that the only limitations a person has are the ones they place on themselves.
Just something that I was thinking about today......
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Our day at the "Maquarium"
We decided at 8:30am this morning that we'd drive to the Vancouver Aquarium. We probably should have planned to go instead of it being a last minute decision, because we didn't leave until 9:30am. Blair said that if we left earlier, we'd have hit rush hour traffic. Anyhow, we left at 9:30am and got to the Aquarium and parked by 10:45am. We had to wait in line for about 30 minutes and all Nicholas could say was that we had to hurry because "the maquarium would be closed" and he couldn't wait "to see the dolphins, belugas and touch some sea stars" (On the ride into town, Nicholas said that he wanted to touch the dolphins, whales and seals. We told him he couldn't do that because it wasn't allowed, but that maybe he could touch some sea stars or sponges....to which Nicholas replied "Yes, I can because sea stars and sponges don't have noses or mouths, so they liked to be touched by little boys") Did I mention that he's 3?!
Anyway, as we were waiting in line to get in, I told Nicholas that he could go and walk about and of course Claire had to follow. So, as they were walking about by the sculpture of the whale, Nicholas fell or tripped and opened the scab on his knee or the third time. Of course I didn't have wipes or a band-aid, so Blair took him into the washroom, cleaned off the blood and brought him out again. While Blair ran back to the car to get our first aid kit, someone from behind us offered me a band-aid and the Mom from the family in front of us offered to hold Claire while I tried with some difficulty to open the band-aid wrapper with my fingers and teeth, wipe away the blood and cover the "owie" Once the band aid was on, it was magic and all was better. Now, I wish I had my cell phone to call Blair and tell him not to bother with the first aid kit.
Once inside, we went straight to the dolphin habitat and got ready for the show. Nicholas squeezed up front with a nice couple and their young son to watch the show. He let out squeals of delight as the dolphins swam, dove and jumped in front of him. The other mom asked her son "Do you like this honey?" and Nicholas replied "Yes!" She got a chuckle out of that. Claire, meanwhile watched the show a top Blair's shoulders and was more interested in her snacks than the show.
After the dolphins, we walked around a bit, looking at the rest of the aquarium and then went out to the beluga habitat to eat something. Nicholas was watching the belugas and then got distracted by a seagull, whom he called "Mr. Seagull". He was concerned that "Mr. Seagull" needed a snack and some water, so when he dropped part of his snack, Nicholas threw it at the seagull and when Blair can back with water and fries, he spilled water on the cement so that the seagull could drink. Again, he's 3!
Once we had made sure that we had seen all that we wanted to see, we left the "maquarium" and headed for home. As we walked back to the car, a family in front of us said "That's the boy who hurt his knee" Somehow, I don't think we'll ever go anywhere unnoticed with our children.
It was a busy day, but we all had fun and we'll always remember the day we spent at the "Maquarium"
Monday, July 5, 2010
A 3rd? Are you crazy?!
So we're planning on having a 3rd child, we've always thought that three would be our number and discussed it while we were dating, engaged and married, we'd have three children. So as we start thinking about when we'd like to plan this 3rd pregnancy, it's become common knowledge among friends and family and I have to say that I am shocked over some of the responses we've gotten. We've had people tell us that 2 children is plenty and we should stop; we've got a boy and a girl, so we should count ourselves lucky and stop; kids are expensive and require a lot of money for their education and that the middle child will "get lost in the shuffle". Well, let me just say that, I have quite strong responses, myself.
:First of all, the decision to have children and how many to have is no one else's business but mine and my husband's and we've decided that three children is what will complete our family.
:I know that kids are expensive, but I have no plans to use my retirement money to put them through school. We will help them as much as we can, but they will get jobs, student loans or scholarships to help with their university (if that's where they choose to go)
:Knowing my daughter, Claire, who has quite strong opinions at 16 months, I doubt she'll let herself "get lost in the shuffle"
We have been very lucky with two healthy pregnancies and children and we look forward to adding another member into our family some time in the future.
:First of all, the decision to have children and how many to have is no one else's business but mine and my husband's and we've decided that three children is what will complete our family.
:I know that kids are expensive, but I have no plans to use my retirement money to put them through school. We will help them as much as we can, but they will get jobs, student loans or scholarships to help with their university (if that's where they choose to go)
:Knowing my daughter, Claire, who has quite strong opinions at 16 months, I doubt she'll let herself "get lost in the shuffle"
We have been very lucky with two healthy pregnancies and children and we look forward to adding another member into our family some time in the future.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Nicholas is 3!
On Tuesday, Nicholas turned 3 years old. I can hardly believe it, where did the time go? He's no longer the helpless toddler, who needed constant supervision for fear that he would fall. Now, he is an independent little boy, who can keep himself occupied, likes to help me in the kitchen and helps with his sister.
There are times when I watch him playing, listening to him talking or using his vivid imagination and I wonder where this little boy came from? He is so confident and curious about everything. He's like a little sponge, sucking up all the information that he can. I'm not sure what role I played in that.
When Nicholas was born, I suffered from a major case of post-partum depression, to the point where Blair almost sent me to see someone. I wasn't depressed because I was overwhelmed about being a mom; or maybe I was, I just don't remember. My issue stemmed from the fact that I wanted a baby girl so badly, I mean, if I could have willed it to be, it would have been. Blair comes from a family of 6 (4 boys and 2 girls) and his two brothers with children, had two boys each. No boy had had a girl, since their sisters had been born. I was determined to change that, but of course I couldn't.
After a ten hour labour and two hours of pushing, all the "drugs" that were offered, Nicholas was born and I cried. I remember hearing the words "It's a boy" and feeling my heart drop. All of my hoping and wishing, were gone and the tradition of boys continued.
I tried to cover up my disappointment over Nicholas being a boy, so that no one knew and I thought I did a pretty good job; but Blair knew. When we were home alone, I completely disconnected from my baby. I didn't want to hold him, feed him, bathe him, I wanted nothing to do with him. I was numb inside. I could acknowledge that he was cute, but it was as if I was looking at someone else's child. Blair stepped in and took over and when he was home, did a majority of the care. When he was at work, he would call me throughout the day to check on me and Nicholas. I was never thinking of harming Nicholas, I just treated him as though he was someone else's baby and I was babysitting him.
It took me a long time to recover from those feelings.....well over a year. I feel bad because here I had this beautiful little boy, full of love who did nothing wrong and I couldn't love him. It wasn't his fault and thank goodness he'll never remember that first year. I look back at pictures from that time and, in the few pictures we have of me with Nicholas, I can see that sadness behind my eyes. I wish now, that I could go back in time and relive that time and enjoy that first year with my new baby boy. Of course, I can't, but I can look into those liquid blue eyes of my beautiful, curious son and smile. How did I get so lucky?
There are times when I watch him playing, listening to him talking or using his vivid imagination and I wonder where this little boy came from? He is so confident and curious about everything. He's like a little sponge, sucking up all the information that he can. I'm not sure what role I played in that.
When Nicholas was born, I suffered from a major case of post-partum depression, to the point where Blair almost sent me to see someone. I wasn't depressed because I was overwhelmed about being a mom; or maybe I was, I just don't remember. My issue stemmed from the fact that I wanted a baby girl so badly, I mean, if I could have willed it to be, it would have been. Blair comes from a family of 6 (4 boys and 2 girls) and his two brothers with children, had two boys each. No boy had had a girl, since their sisters had been born. I was determined to change that, but of course I couldn't.
After a ten hour labour and two hours of pushing, all the "drugs" that were offered, Nicholas was born and I cried. I remember hearing the words "It's a boy" and feeling my heart drop. All of my hoping and wishing, were gone and the tradition of boys continued.
I tried to cover up my disappointment over Nicholas being a boy, so that no one knew and I thought I did a pretty good job; but Blair knew. When we were home alone, I completely disconnected from my baby. I didn't want to hold him, feed him, bathe him, I wanted nothing to do with him. I was numb inside. I could acknowledge that he was cute, but it was as if I was looking at someone else's child. Blair stepped in and took over and when he was home, did a majority of the care. When he was at work, he would call me throughout the day to check on me and Nicholas. I was never thinking of harming Nicholas, I just treated him as though he was someone else's baby and I was babysitting him.
It took me a long time to recover from those feelings.....well over a year. I feel bad because here I had this beautiful little boy, full of love who did nothing wrong and I couldn't love him. It wasn't his fault and thank goodness he'll never remember that first year. I look back at pictures from that time and, in the few pictures we have of me with Nicholas, I can see that sadness behind my eyes. I wish now, that I could go back in time and relive that time and enjoy that first year with my new baby boy. Of course, I can't, but I can look into those liquid blue eyes of my beautiful, curious son and smile. How did I get so lucky?
Monday, April 5, 2010
Checking in
So, I thought I'd write about my first weeks of being back to work. Since I only work 3 days a week, I've actually only worked 9 days, so in reality its been less that 2 weeks. I've found it really hard to get back in the "groove" of teaching again and while I've learned the names of all 29 of my students, I feel no real connection to them nor them to me. They see me as the "other" teacher and my job-share partner as their teacher, and so they should, she's been their teacher since the beginning of the year. They will say to me "that's not how Miss N does it" or "Miss N says that we can...." Miss N has done and is doing a great job and I do feel that I'm checking in with her, much like I did when I was a TOC in someone else's classroom. It's hers and I'm just visiting for 3 months, trying to do as good of a job as she's doing. Basically, I'm just trying to get through til the end of the year and then hopefully start fresh in September. Only 36 more days to go......
Friday, March 26, 2010
Clutter, clutter, everywhere
Okay, so when we bought our 1650sqft. house, it was just Blair and I and we had lots of room. Now, 5 years and 2 kids later, our house seems so small and I feel like I'm drowning in clutter. The front room has a train table and bigger toys like the Fisher-Price farm, house, rock quarry and garage; and those are just Nicholas' We also right now have boxes of clothes to down into the crawl space, pictures and art to be hung and baby gifts to be delivered...all in that front room. The kitchen/great room is no better, with "junk" (stuff that has no proper place) all over the counters, papers to be shredded, recycled and did I mention that the dining room table has become the dumping ground for newspapers, kids shoes and slippers, hats and more stuff to be shredded or recycled? We have a book shelf that is supposed to be for our books, a phone and the stereo, but is once again cluttered with "stuff" that needs to be out of reach of the little hands. In the great room/family room, where we spend most of our time has Claire's toys, a second book shelf for DVD's and Nicholas' books, a toy box in a small alcove and you guessed it, all of it full of "stuff". Behind our big t.v. is more stuff to keep out of reach of little hands.
Arggh, I just feel like everywhere I look, there is stuff that needs to find a home or be tossed. Now, I'm not blaming anyone, those of you who know me, know that Blair is a great help around the house and does more than his fair share of cleaning. It just seems as though we can't keep on top of this clutter. It doesn't help that I have new house fever and would love a bigger house where, in my mind, we would be forced to organize our "stuff". In a bigger house, we'd have a room for the toys and they wouldn't be EVERYWHERE! Unfortunately for me, we're not in a position to move for another year or so, which means, in order to remain sane, I've got to get a handle on this clutter.
Deep breath....Okay, that's my rant for the day. Now back to the clutter
Arggh, I just feel like everywhere I look, there is stuff that needs to find a home or be tossed. Now, I'm not blaming anyone, those of you who know me, know that Blair is a great help around the house and does more than his fair share of cleaning. It just seems as though we can't keep on top of this clutter. It doesn't help that I have new house fever and would love a bigger house where, in my mind, we would be forced to organize our "stuff". In a bigger house, we'd have a room for the toys and they wouldn't be EVERYWHERE! Unfortunately for me, we're not in a position to move for another year or so, which means, in order to remain sane, I've got to get a handle on this clutter.
Deep breath....Okay, that's my rant for the day. Now back to the clutter
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